This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize