I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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