We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
