so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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