Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
