those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
