is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
