hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize