i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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