talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
