careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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