I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
