He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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