stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
