My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
