I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
