I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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