Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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