That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
