Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
