why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I want her autograph on my taint
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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