I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
