Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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