So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
your room smells of hookers.
And success
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
