my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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