This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
