That's intense
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
