i may or may not be watching the land before time
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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