people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
