Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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