can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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