It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
