I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
