It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize