Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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