I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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