no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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