Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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