ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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