can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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