To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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