Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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