didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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