remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
