is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
