I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
