She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
