margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize