my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hippo gnu deer
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
