Your tits are I can't wait for
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
