Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
