I'm lost and stupid without you.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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