You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
