I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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