she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
