I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
