this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
