And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
