Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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