how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
