When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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