are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
