hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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