im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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