I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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