Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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