It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
