Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
