the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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