her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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