i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize