Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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