why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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