His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
